I hate to break it to you, but you still have a shit load of mistakes in the guide, here is just one example:
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To gain this one all you have to do is fully upgrade one weapon to do this you will need to collect 2125 titanium. The best weapon that I thought was best to upgrade first was the shotgun. read bottom for more general help. The titanium looks something like this:
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Here is how it would look using proper grammar and spelling:
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To get this achievement, you need to fully upgrade one weapon by collecting 2,125 pieces of titanium. I think it's best to upgrade the Shotgun first. Read the bottom of this post for more general help. The titanium looks something like this:
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Besides the spelling and grammar errors, your guide just doesn't add anything to the first guide. For example, the other guide not only tells you the name of the achievement, it also tells you what you have to do to get the achievement and elaborates on that to make it easier.
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Overachiever 15
See perfectionist on how to get a gold for all ten levels.
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If I was looking at that with no prior knowledge of the achievement, I would have no idea what you had to do to earn it.
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Overachiever (15 )
Get a gold medal on five different levels
See Perfectionist for the goals for each level.
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That on the other hand describes what the achievement actually is, and then references how to get the achievement.
I could go on and on, but I have a basketball game to go watch. If you want some examples of really good guides, PM The Pants Party and he should be able to provide you with some examples that you can study so that you can improve your guide writing skills.