A guy's point of view please?

[SarkeBeeley]

Ok, I think I've mentioned a couple of times on the site that I'm a Youth Worker. Today one of the 'young people' (he's 17) I work with asked for some advice. He's a bit of a player and reckons he can get any girl into bed within an hour of meeting her. :rolleyes: He's now met an 'older woman' (she's 20) and he wanted my advice - as an older woman - on how to charm her. He basically wants to get her into bed just so he can say he's had a 20 year old which is fair enough.

Now obviously for the sake of the female solidarity crap I wasn't going to give him any advice on how to trick her into it and said the usual girly stuff - pay attention to her - ask her how her day was blah blah blah. I knew when I was saying this stuff that when I was her age the 'treat 'em mean' stuff probably still worked but I wasn't going to tell him that! To get to the point when he asked me what lines to use on her I suggested he ask a bloke SO .... as this site is mainly manly I thought some of you may have some ideas, good or bad.

Any thoughts?

[Webb]

Lines?? I mean, come on, does anybody even use them?

I mean I don't! Seem way too cheesy for me!

[IMportdreams95]

ya, i mean i dont think anyone uses them anymore....

It's kinda shady for him to be doing this, so i guess hes on his own. If he is the master and can get a girl with in an hour. he should be able to get this girl with no problem. why is she any different? :confused:

[aPerfektFIaw]

...as this site is mainly manly...

WHAT?!?! :eek: I've been in a sausage fest for the past 3 months?

...but if i were 17, id try this line: "I can't find my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went into this cheap motel room"

:woop:

[snafegeeza]

"Do you fancy a fuck" always worked for me. :eek:

[Webb]

"Do you fancy a fuck" always worked for me. :eek:

Ha ha. That never worked for me though :p lol

[falconclan]

I cry, for i have no skill at the "women" v_v. I have teh white and nerdy syndrome v_v :(

[IMportdreams95]

the only line i would used around here would be

I Lost my Gamertag..., Can i Have Yours?

[Webb]

the only line i would used around here would be

I Lost my Gamertag..., Can i Have Yours?

Reminds me of Helacool!!! ROFL :D

[falconclan]

Should have told him that 20 year old girls love it when you write them love letters in L33t.

[SarkeBeeley]

"Do you fancy a fuck" always worked for me. :eek:
Smooth...but yep, it's worked for me too :D

[Webb]

Smooth...but yep, it's worked for me too :D


It must be a Yorkshire thing :p lol :nana

[falconclan]

Smooth...but yep, it's worked for me too :D but wait... you are a girl...? Would you come to america :P

[snafegeeza]

I'll give you a little insight into how snafes love machine works,

"Im no Fred Flinstone but I could sure make your bedrock".

[aPerfektFIaw]

funny, i browsed through this board twice really quick, and it seems as if everyones in here...

i wonder why :rolleyes:

[Webb]

funny, i browsed through this board twice really quick, and it seems as if everyones in here...

i wonder why :rolleyes:

Is it cause I'm in here :p lol

Oh and Snafe.... Smmmmmmmmmooooooooooooooooooooottttthhhhhhhh :p

[Blind Fool]

I refuse to share my lines for they are unique and are foolproof.. no wait that's not right...

[falconclan]

funny, i browsed through this board twice really quick, and it seems as if everyones in here...

i wonder why :rolleyes: Haha, i can tell this conversation is going to get interesting sometime soon, thats why :P!

[SarkeBeeley]

It must be a Yorkshire thing :p lol :nana
Yep no messing! A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do.....

[Minty]

Tell him to sort it out. If hes 17, then an older woman is 27 ffs. Bloody kids.

I was chuffed when I was 18 to get a 30 year old, not a bloody 21 year old....

Tell him hes pathetic.

[Webb]

Yep no messing! A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do.....

Makes me feel better now that I'm going back up to Sheffield on Sat now :D

[Blind Fool]

Tell him to sort it out. If hes 17, then an older woman is 27 ffs. Bloody kids.

I was chuffed when I was 18 to get a 30 year old, not a bloody 21 year old....

Tell him hes pathetic. Indeed, 4 years older isn't an older women... but then sounds like he does need some maturity and how to learn his own lines lol

[falconclan]

Tell him to sort it out. If hes 17, then an older woman is 27 ffs. Bloody kids.

I was chuffed when I was 18 to get a 30 year old, not a bloody 21 year old....

Tell him hes pathetic. Now i feel even worse about my position in my school, thanks minty :blurp

[snafegeeza]

"Is that a ladder in your tights or a stairway to heaven"

"what do you like for breakfast"

"Nice dress but it would look better on my bedroom floor"

"Ive had a shave tonight so that a dont chaiff your thighs"

"show me your fanny and ill give you a tenner"

[Webb]

ROFL!!!

Snafe, very classy :p

Especially the last two! LMFAO :bow:

[SarkeBeeley]

Yeah cheers Minty - this lad normally comes in to talk to me bout his sexual dysfunction so to tell him he's pathetic probably wouldnt be helpful but I'll keep it in mind! I'm glad he sees 20 as an older woman as I'm 27 and if he had those thoughts then my job would be even more complicated than it already is!:eek:

[Minty]

If he can bed a bird within an hour- he shouldnt have sexual dysfunction!!

My bet is that hes lying, so that you'll give him a 'helping hand'

[SarkeBeeley]

Oh thanks for those images Minty! Premature ejaculation doesn't stop a guy getting a woman into bed - just maybe keeping her there....

[Zombfied EyE]

Lines? Shit I don't mess with that cheese crap. Just tell him to be his self. I mean if hes as cool as he thinks then it shouldn't be a problem. But as far as I go I don't think I want anything to do with a chick that is just like, yeah ill sleep with you even though I just met you 10 min ago. From where I come from those are called whores lol. But don't get me wrong there are acceptable environment's such as parties and such. Just my opinion.

[falconclan]

I suddenly feels sadly pathetic o_o... lol...

[Cola Alone]

He basically wants to get her into bed just so he can say he's had a 20 year old which is fair enough.


If by "fair enough" you mean shallow as fuck.

[SarkeBeeley]

I suddenly feels sadly pathetic o_o... lol...

Dude don't feel bad - I mean - did you see some of Snafe's lines?!!;)

[SarkeBeeley]

If by "fair enough" you mean shallow as fuck.
Granted, it is shallow BUT having worked with teenagers guys for nearly five years it's hardly unusual to be have that attitude!

[falconclan]

Dude don't feel bad - I mean - did you see some of Snafe's lines?!!;) Yeah, but im 16 and havent ever had a relationship :o

[Cola Alone]

Granted, it is shallow BUT having worked with teenagers guys for nearly five years it's hardly unusual to be have that attitude!

If I were a woman, it would be something I would try to minimize much less help and encourage.

[SarkeBeeley]

Yeah, but im 16 and havent ever had a relationship :o
That's not a bad thing. It's something that just happens when it happens - better to have been in no relationships than crap ones!

If I were a woman, it would be something I would try to minimize much less help and encourage.
Well, yeah, that's what I'm doing - challenging his attitude BUT women can be just as shallow as men so everyone should be discouraging it! As far as we know this woman may want exactly the same thing - just to get laid - if thats the case and neither of them are gonna get hurt (and using protection obv.) then what's the problem in that?

[falconclan]

That's not a bad thing. It's something that just happens when it happens - better to have been in no relationships than crap ones!


Well, yeah, that's what I'm doing - challenging his attitude BUT women can be just as shallow as men so everyone should be discouraging it! As far as we know this woman may want exactly the same thing - just to get laid - if thats the case and neither of them are gonna get hurt (and using protection obv.) then what's the problem in that?

Yeah, i know its not that bad, but im so weak at the whole girls thing v_v lol. There is this girl that i liked since the first day i met her, and we've been friends and all, but now im up to... like 5 years of knowing her O_o I can never work up the courage to ask her out :P and I always say she's too good for me when i even get close >_< gah...:mad:

[Cola Alone]

Well, yeah, that's what I'm doing - challenging his attitude BUT women can be just as shallow as men so everyone should be discouraging it! As far as we know this woman may want exactly the same thing - just to get laid - if thats the case and neither of them are gonna get hurt (and using protection obv.) then what's the problem in that?

Further cultural decline? Hoorah.
What happend to sex being something god damn special?

[falconclan]

Further cultural decline? Hoorah.
What happend to sex being something god damn special? Media happened, and slaughtered any sense of moral order... :(

[Pugnutter]

Well personally i think there is some other mental related problem going on in his sick little mind

see him on the news in a few years lol

[falconclan]

Well personally i think there is some other mental related problem going on in his sick little mind

see him on the news in a few years lol Or maybe just maybe, he is REALLY, REALLY, HORNY... >_>

[SarkeBeeley]

Yeah, i know its not that bad, but im so weak at the whole girls thing v_v lol. There is this girl that i liked since the first day i met her, and we've been friends and all, but now im up to... like 5 years of knowing her O_o I can never work up the courage to ask her out :P and I always say she's too good for me when i even get close >_< gah...:mad:

I think it's always harder if you're friends first - especially if you don't know how she feels. There's always the worry of the friendship being ruined if you ask her out and she isn't interested. Couldn't you try and discreetly find out from one of her friends if she's interested?

It's easier said than dont BUT as they say it's better to regret something you have done rather than something you haven't!

[falconclan]

I think it's always harder if you're friends first - especially if you don't know how she feels. There's always the worry of the friendship being ruined if you ask her out and she isn't interested. Couldn't you try and discreetly find out from one of her friends if she's interested?

It's easier said than dont BUT as they say it's better to regret something you have done rather than something you haven't! Yeah, thats sorta my problem, she also lives down the street from me >_> which if something went wrong would have its obvious cons V_V And i really REALLY dont want to talk to her friends, because they are on the volleyball team with her >_> volleyball team girls are popular and i really dont want to make her look bad... >_> lol, why am i saying these things on a game website <_<

PS- i pretty much know that she feels the same way, but i still can't do it for some reason >_> She is sometimes really flirty around me, but i dont really know how to react in a way that would send signals back other then just asking her out, which im worried about doing :\ I hate being a teenager V_V

[SarkeBeeley]

Further cultural decline? Hoorah.
What happend to sex being something god damn special?
I think it still can be 'special' but all I'm saying is that it doesn't have to be - it can be just sex, pure and simple.

[Minty]

Sex is easy- its like Nokia.

Connecting people.

sex doesnt have to be personnal at all, just two people benefitting

[SarkeBeeley]

Yeah, thats sorta my problem, she also lives down the street from me >_> which if something went wrong would have its obvious cons V_V And i really REALLY dont want to talk to her friends, because they are on the volleyball team with her >_> volleyball team girls are popular and i really dont want to make her look bad... >_> lol, why am i saying these things on a game website <_<

PS- i pretty much know that she feels the same way, but i still can't do it for some reason >_> She is sometimes really flirty around me, but i dont really know how to react in a way that would send signals back other then just asking her out, which im worried about doing :\ I hate being a teenager V_V

Yeah being a teenager sucks - but it doesn't really get that much easier - just different. You probably already have sent signals back without knowing it. If you're waiting for her to make the first move you may be waiting a long time. How 'bout getting two tickets to something - a gig, a film, whatever. Then telling her you have a spare and asking if she wants to go, just really casually - no pressure then just see what happens. Alternatively, invite her over - show her this thread and say - 'if you never mention this I won't but I just thought you should know.' Then it's up to her, if you're not making her talk about it there's not as much pressure and it may be the opportunity she's been waiting for- you never know.;)

[Zombfied EyE]

It's easier said than dont BUT as they say it's better to regret something you have done rather than something you haven't!

I whole heartedly agree :woop: "speaking from experience"

[SarkeBeeley]

Sex is easy- its like Nokia.

Connecting people.

sex doesnt have to be personnal at all, just two people benefitting

My sentiments exactly! Maybe we just feel differently about it in the UK??

[falconclan]

Yeah being a teenager sucks - but it doesn't really get that much easier - just different. You probably already have sent signals back without knowing it. If you're waiting for her to make the first move you may be waiting a long time. How 'bout getting two tickets to something - a gig, a film, whatever. Then telling her you have a spare and asking if she wants to go, just really casually - no pressure then just see what happens. Alternatively, invite her over - show her this thread and say - 'if you never mention this I won't but I just thought you should know.' Then it's up to her, if you're not making her talk about it there's not as much pressure and it may be the opportunity she's been waiting for- you never know.;) Yeah, im not waiting for her to make the move, im just really intimidated by the whole "league" thing, In highschool terms, we'll just say im low on the food chain... She is very different from me though, as she has had many relationships, but ive never seen one amount to much >_>

[SarkeBeeley]

Yeah, im not waiting for her to make the move, im just really intimidated by the whole "league" thing, In highschool terms, we'll just say im low on the food chain... She is very different from me though, as she has had many relationships, but ive never seen one amount to much >_>

It's back to what I said earlier about it being better to have no relationships than bad ones. There may be a reason she's had many relationships - she may have been picking the wrong guys. I know you probably won't believe this but whatever you think makes you 'low' on the food chain may actually be what she likes about you - us women can be weird like that! It could also be that she likes you because she thinks you're corruptable!

[Cola Alone]

My sentiments exactly! Maybe we just feel differently about it in the UK??

Maybe my views will change with time (im only 16)

[falconclan]

It's back to what I said earlier about it being better to have no relationships than bad ones. There may be a reason she's had many relationships - she may have been picking the wrong guys. I know you probably won't believe this but whatever you think makes you 'low' on the food chain may actually be what she likes about you - us women can be weird like that! It could also be that she likes you because she thinks you're corruptable! OH TEH NOES O_O! wait... what do you mean by that O_O! AH!:eek:

[SarkeBeeley]

Maybe my views will change with time (im only 16)

Well I hope they don't! I think it's good that some people still feel that way. Only you can know what feels right for you -'don't go changing' ;)

OH TEH NOES O_O! wait... what do you mean by that O_O! AH!:eek:
I just meant that you know how some guys like girls that are quite sweet and innocent (especially when the guy isn't)? Well it works the other way 'round too. Some girls like guys that are quite innocent (especially when they've had enough of guys who aren't!). Make it work for you!

[falconclan]

Well I hope they don't! I think it's good that some people still feel that way. Only you can know what feels right for you -'don't go changing' ;)


I just meant that you know how some guys like girls that are quite sweet and innocent (especially when the guy isn't)? Well it works the other way 'round too. Some girls like guys that are quite innocent (especially when they've had enough of guys who aren't!). Make it work for you! Not sure whether to be scared or intrigued, but here i go :blurp ...

[Muta32]

"Are you free tonight?...or do I have to pay?"
"I promise I won't fall asleep after sex, but only cause I think you'll steal my $h!t." - this one works great.
"I'm an idiot, give me pitty sex!"
"Can I feel your belly button?...from the inside."

[aPerfektFIaw]

guys guys guys.... i just called Dr. Phil

He will be here shortly :p

"Can I feel your belly button?...from the inside."

AHHHH hahahahaha!!!

[Muta32]

guys guys guys.... i just called Dr. Phil

He will be here shortly :p



AHHHH hahahahaha!!!

And I called Eric Cartmans momma, as well as Mr. Macky mmmk:p

[falconclan]

And I called Eric Cartmans momma, as well as Mr. Macky mmmk:p Now i just dont know whats going on O_O :confused:

[aPerfektFIaw]

There are times when you get suckered in
By drugs and alchohol and sex with women
But its when you do these things too much
That you've become an addict and must get back in touch
You can do it Its all up to you-mmmmmkay
With a little plan you can change your life tooo-day
You dont have to spend your life addicted to smack
Homeless on the streets giving handjobs for crack
Follow my plan and very soon you will saayy, its easy mmkay

lmao - mr macky is the man... sorry ill let this get back on topic

[Fonkey Monkey]

its a mans obligation
to stick his boneration
in a womans seperation
this sort of penetration
will increase the population

:p
ahh i love south park

[fugitivetoby31]

Oh thanks for those images Minty! Premature ejaculation doesn't stop a guy getting a woman into bed - just maybe keeping her there....

I'd hardly call premature ejaculation at 17 a 'dysfunction'

And he must live in a big town/city to get 'any girl' with a two stroke rep on his hands ;o)

To be honest I can't believe you give that kinda 'problem' the time of day!

Still nice to hear my tax money is being well spent on needy cases..........

[P1NSEEKER]

Woah where did this thread come from? :eek:

"Does this drink taste of rohypnol to you?"

"Is your father a theif?.....This isnt a line, i think i raped him in prison!"

:D

[Blind Fool]

You know its kinda funny, I always thought the Americans were less prudish than us Brits and yet we seem to be the ones more open to casual relationships... Interesting.

(This isnt a who's better :p just an observation from this thread.)

[fugitivetoby31]

You know its kinda funny, I always thought the Americans were less prudish than us Brits and yet we seem to be the ones more open to casual relationships... Interesting.

(This isnt a who's better :p just an observation from this thread.)

Were definatley more lax over here, few Americans that I know that have visited the UK were astonished to see: Page 3, 0898 adverts in tabloids and tv mags etc etc.
They said in the States it's strictly limited to top shelf stuff.

Maybe we are closer to the Swedes than we think ;)

[L3giOn]

Woah where did this thread come from? :eek:

"Does this drink taste of rohypnol to you?"

"Is your father a theif?.....This isnt a line, i think i raped him in prison!"

:D

I know man, I'm on the DL for one day, come back, and there's a 3 page thread about some guy wanting to get some. :biglaugh

[SarkeBeeley]

I know man, I'm on the DL for one day, come back, and there's a 3 page thread about some guy wanting to get some. :biglaugh

Yeah sorry about that - I have a bad habit of lowering the tone of a place. It's proved pretty interesting so far though!

[Tron]

@sarke, tell your lil friend that he may be able to bag a "bird" in an hour, but that rash she leaves will be there much longer

@falcon, man up... take chances, go for a kiss, worst case senario she says no and you get a little embarrassed... its small potatoes compared to how bad you will fuck up later in life (i mean the "you" generically)

you could end up with a great story or a rash...either way...go for it.

[SarkeBeeley]

@sarke, tell your lil friend that he may be able to bag a "bird" in an hour, but that rash she leaves will be there much longer

@falcon, man up... take chances, go for a kiss, worst case senario she says no and you get a little embarrassed... its small potatoes compared to how bad you will fuck up later in life (i mean the "you" generically)

you could end up with a great story or a rash...either way...go for it.

Wise words on both counts..

[Minty]

Just cos you can bed a bird in an hour, doesnt mean shes dirty in the bad way.

SHe may just be dirty in the good way ;)

[SarkeBeeley]

Even wiser words ;)

[oVo Pandora oVo]

Maybe this isn't my place since you were asking for a guys point of view. And maybe this may come across harsh, but shouldn't you be telling him to respect women, rather then how to bag one in an hour, being a woman yourself. How can we change society when we only encourage the bad behavior. I don't know maybe it's just me. I never had a one night stand and sure there were plenty of times I could have, casual sex can be a fun thing but for a 17 year old to have this kind of attitude can not help him grow into a mature man. We have all been young and immature in our way of thinking but as a role model and advice giver to the youth you should be teaching him how to treat a woman properly, and what a true relationship is about. In todays society with AIDS, STD's, and teen pregnancies higher then ever and at 12, 13 yrs old at that, do we really want to be encouraging our youth to be having casual sex, or to abstain until you reach the mental and maturity level to even handle sex not to mention a relationship. Then again maybe it is just me.

[Pugnutter]

Maybe this isn't my place since you were asking for a guys point of view. And maybe this may come across harsh, but shouldn't you be telling him to respect women, rather then how to bag one in an hour, being a woman yourself. How can we change society when we only encourage the bad behavior. I don't know maybe it's just me. I never had a one night stand and sure there were plenty of times I could have, casual sex can be a fun thing but for a 17 year old to have this kind of attitude can not help him grow into a mature man. We have all been young and immature in our way of thinking but as a role model and advice giver to the youth you should be teaching him how to treat a woman properly, and what a true relationship is about. In todays society with AIDS, STD's, and teen pregnancies higher then ever and at 12, 13 yrs old at that, do we really want to be encouraging our youth to be having casual sex, or to abstain until you reach the mental and maturity level to even handle sex not to mention a relationship. Then again maybe it is just me. well said tbh :bow:

[Minty]

Just cos you have causal sex, doesnt mean you dont use protection.......

[Cola Alone]

Just cos you have causal sex, doesnt mean you dont use protection.......

Just cause you use protection doesn't mean you won't get STD's like herpes.
Or her pregnant.

[Muta32]

Just cos you have causal sex, doesnt mean you dont use protection.......

Just cause you use protection doesn't mean you won't get STD's like herpes.
Or her pregnant.

Very true Cola Alone. Plus if you fall asleep, hope the only organs you lose are unnessary ones like your pancrease or gall bladder.

Because you might lose something that you need to live.
To name a few:

Parathyroid: This gland helps regulate calcium in the blood stream.
Too much or too little can be fatal in that Calcium is used by muscle to
contract. If there is too little the heart cannot contract, if there is
too much the heart can go into a fatal rhythm leading to death.


Adrenals: Lose these all of a sudden and within a short time you
would die of inability to maintain salt balance within the blood stream
and ultimately your blood presure.


Skin: Yep, lose even 30% surface area of the skin and you are in deep
trouble. Burn victims are at very high risk of dying because they have
lost the ability to regulate temperature, also they lose water and
electrolytes rapidly resulting in a metabolic dysfunction leading to
rapid death. Not to mention the risk of infection which can be life
threatening enough, but over a longer period of time.


Lungs: Stop breathing suddenly and you die. Plain and simple.


Brain: You Die


Heart: You Die


__________________________________________________ ______

So if you MUST go out have sex with a stranger, don't have a mere condom as your protection. Always take at least 3 condoms, some sort of a weapon (a blade), and a cell phone.

I know I sound rediculus, but I speak the truth. In order to sin tonight, and repent tomorrow you must make it to tomorrow.
There are plenty of pschycos in todays world, so watch out.

...wow that was alot
http://forums.filefront.com/images/smilies/CrashSmilies/love-smiley-039.gifhttp://forums.filefront.com/images/smilies/CrashSmilies/love-smiley-039.gifhttp://forums.filefront.com/images/smilies/CrashSmilies/love-smiley-039.gifhttp://forums.filefront.com/images/smilies/CrashSmilies/love-smiley-039.gif

[Minty]

Jesus, do some of you walk down the high-street or not?

Dont be so paranoid!!

[oVo Pandora oVo]

Just cos you have causal sex, doesn't mean you dont use protection.......

Well I never mentioned condoms but I would hope guys wear them if they are out banging anything that will move lol. But we must be failing somewhere if our youth does not choose to have safe sex, or abstain. That was what I was referring too.

[Webb]

Well I never mentioned condoms but I would hope guys wear them if they are out banging anything that will move lol. But we must be failing somewhere if our youth does not choose to have safe sex, or abstain. That was what I was referring too.

If it's any consolation, I always have safe sex ;)

But not Minty's interpretation to that!!! What was it again, Sex in an All Male Prison :nana :p Pretty safe for him! lol :p

[Muta32]

But we must be failing somewhere if our youth does not choose to have safe sex, or abstain.

I blame:
Child Labor Laws - A hard days work would make them too tired to have sex
MTV and BET - too much booty on the air
No longer allowing teachers to lay a finger on students (not in a sexual way, I mean smacking a little punk upside the head) - lack of disipline
More parents are letting the schools handle "The Talk" instead of doing themselfs these days. - Doesn't go far enough in depth, so kids have to find out the hard way.
Political correctness - Important things need to be raw, not toned down due to "sensative types", people need to hear the truth, and not the nice truth, they need to hear the cold hard truth, the truth that hurts peoples feelings, but gets the message across to EVERYONE.

[Waaaaaaaak]

LOL. My wife's just seen a lap dancing pole, designed for kids in her catalogue. What the fuck is going on?????? No wonder we have 11 year old mums....

[Muta32]

LOL. My wife's just seen a lap dancing pole, designed for kids in her catalogue. What the fuck is going on?????? No wonder we have 11 year old mums....

OMG?!?! What the hell kind of catalog is it?

[Waaaaaaaak]

OMG?!?! What the hell kind of catalog is it?

It's just your standard, we sell everything, mail order catalogue. The pic of the pole has a girl about 14 hanging off it :confused: :confused: :confused:

[Muta32]

It's just your standard, we sell everything, mail order catalogue. The pic of the pole has a girl about 14 hanging off it :confused: :confused: :confused:

and it's intended for stripping?

[Minty]

If it's any consolation, I always have safe sex ;)

But not Minty's interpretation to that!!! What was it again, Sex in an All Male Prison :nana :p Pretty safe for him! lol :p

You have the safest sex there is - none :p:p

[SarkeBeeley]

Well I never mentioned condoms but I would hope guys wear them if they are out banging anything that will move lol. But we must be failing somewhere if our youth does not choose to have safe sex, or abstain. That was what I was referring too.

The long term work I'm doing with him is looking at his psychosexual attitudes etc - I work with some of the hardest to reach kids in the city and you can only approach certain things in certain ways. My advice to him was to pay attention to her, ask her if she's had a nice day and be generally attentive THEN we talked about why he wanted to have sex with her straight away. To tell someone with such ingrained beliefs to abstain is pointless - you can only look at it over a period of time and challenge that behaviour.

As for young people having sex and not using protection - I give out condoms, sexual health advice AND do chlamydia and pregnancy test for 13-25 year olds. Why do they go unprotected (or have sex in the first place)? Part of it is down to society - I've had people say - Well I'm 14 so I should be having sex shouldnt I? They often think STI's wont happen to them (dont most people, especially young people). Also many young girls actually come in to see me when they are trying to get pregnant - the whole - it will be someone who loves me no matter what line. So there are a whole lot of reasons - all of 'em really concerning BUT it will take a long time to change those attitudes unfortunately. I think improved confidence and self-esteem are the only way forward.

[Waaaaaaaak]

THEN we talked about why he wanted to have sex with her straight away.

Don't need councelling for that. He's male - it's in our nature (gotta spread our seeds you know). :p

[Minty]

Yeah - it's in male genes to try to get females out of their jeans

[Muta32]

The long term work I'm doing with him is looking at his psychosexual attitudes etc - I work with some of the hardest to reach kids in the city and you can only approach certain things in certain ways. My advice to him was to pay attention to her, ask her if she's had a nice day and be generally attentive THEN we talked about why he wanted to have sex with her straight away. To tell someone with such ingrained beliefs to abstain is pointless - you can only look at it over a period of time and challenge that behaviour.

As for young people having sex and not using protection - I give out condoms, sexual health advice AND do chlamydia and pregnancy test for 13-25 year olds. Why do they go unprotected (or have sex in the first place)? Part of it is down to society - I've had people say - Well I'm 14 so I should be having sex shouldnt I? They often think STI's wont happen to them (dont most people, especially young people). Also many young girls actually come in to see me when they are trying to get pregnant - the whole - it will be someone who loves me no matter what line. So there are a whole lot of reasons - all of 'em really concerning BUT it will take a long time to change those attitudes unfortunately. I think improved confidence and self-esteem are the only way forward.

As far as the girls saying "oh it'll be someone who loves me no matter what" they need someone to give a reality check, and realize that most guys will just "hump her and dump her".

Other than reality checks I'd say fear mongering works best.

-In the words of Eddie Murphy "...casual sex is like playing Russian rullet..."

[SarkeBeeley]

As far as the girls saying "oh it'll be someone who loves me no matter what" they need someone to give a reality check, and realize that most guys will just "hump her and dump her".

Other than reality checks I'd say fear mongering works best.
-In the words of Eddie Murphy "...casual sex is like playing Russian rullet..."


No they aren't often dumb enough to think the guys are gonna hang around - they think the baby will be the one who will love them no matter what. Pretty messed up I know as many of the young people I meet don't actually like their parents, never mind love them!

[Minty]

Or they realise that having the baby will jump them to the top of Council house lists, get them more benefits, and also be a fashion accessorie.

Remember women are manipulative here men :p

[Waaaaaaaak]

ROFL, sad but true. I see it all the time.

Income support families by design :confused:. The more kids the more benefits....

[P1NSEEKER]

Working at the jobcentre i see people like this all day everyday :rolleyes:

Heres a pic thats been doing the rounds at work (see attachment cos i cant go on photobucket from work :mad: )

[SarkeBeeley]

I can honestly say after doing many pregnancy tests for people and working with hundreds of pregnant girls not one of them has done it for the money. Some of them try and reassure themselves when they are already pregnant by saying that they will manaage to sort a house out eventually but this isn't the case. You don't get accommodation ANY quicker - at least not in Leeds. I know someone who is 28 and has a baby and is living with her mum - she is no more likely to get a house than I would be if I applied for one and I have no kids.

People are judged on their situation - if they are over-crowded they are seen as 'Priority' if they have room in the house like the person I just mentioned you are classed as 'General Needs' and if you are homeless you are 'Priority Extra'.

The only reason they tend to get housed is because they are often thrown out of their parents when they have the baby. I've worked with people who have lived in hostels for over 9 months - during pregnancy AND with the baby - she didn't get a house any quicker. I've also worked with a women who was sleeping on someone's floor at 7 months pregnant and her two year old son was sleeping on the sofa. She didn't get housed quickly.

So as I've already said - there are many reasons for them to choose to get pregnant - housing and benefits increases aren't one of those reasons.

[Minty]

Maybe not in Leeds then, but everywhere it is!!

[SarkeBeeley]

Oo and I though you were all-knowing :p

[snafegeeza]

It is certainly the case where I live too, young single mothers always get priority on the housing list, aswell as asylum seekers. If your lucky enough to get up the stick at 18 then you get a free council house thrown in. ITS THE LAW.

[SarkeBeeley]

It is certainly the case where I live too, young single mothers always get priority on the housing list, aswell as asylum seekers. If your lucky enough to get up the stick at 18 then you get a free council house thrown in. ITS THE LAW.

If you're from the UK that's pretty unlikely. The housing laws over here changed about a year ago - age is only an issues if you are under 18 and homeless. Race doesn't make a difference either although there is a service set up to house people temporarily when they first arrive if they are asylum seekers - once they have refugee status they get less help. Then they usually end up homeless. - or staying with a friend. That's why people go on about loads of 'them' living in one house.

[snafegeeza]

Well, im afraid, its very likely as I have seen it first hand. They tell you how it is supposed to work but in reality it works very differently. More babies = more benefits for the young underprivilaged girls of today. Sad but true.

[SarkeBeeley]

Granted they are entitled to slightly more money and support etc BUT that doesn't really make up the likelyhood of both them and their child living in poverty. Young people are obviously having sex and if the rate of teen abortions went through the roof everyone would complain. Years ago it was acceptable and pretty normal to have kids at 17 and my choice to not have kids yet, even at the ripe old age of 27, would have been seen as weird.

[Minty]

The girls of today see a family as a career. It may not be factually true, but its how they see it.

Means test them, if they cant afford it - wave bye bye. Or like China - 1 kid per person

[Muta32]

The girls of today see a family as a career. It may not be factually true, but its how they see it.

Means test them, if they cant afford it - wave bye bye. Or like China - 1 kid per person

http://www.m-w.com/dictionary/career

I thought it was that parents could either 2 boys, or 1 girl. I'm not go so far as to look it up since I don't plan going to China and having sex. O well, w/e.

[Webb]

Why have you put the dictionary definition for career :confused:

[Muta32]

Why have you put the dictionary definition for career :confused:

Not sure:confused:, seemed like a good idea at the time but...:drunk

[SarkeBeeley]

The girls of today see a family as a career. It may not be factually true, but its how they see it.

Means test them, if they cant afford it - wave bye bye. Or like China - 1 kid per person

Hmm. To some extent I kinda agree with the means test bit but to be honest few people can actually 'afford' to have them these days - it costs a fortune. It does annoy me when you see someone on shows like Jeremy Kyle (a poor-mans version of Jerry Springer for non-Brits) with four kids and neither parent even contemplates getting a job at any point. I remember a guy in the paper a while ago who had about eight kids and even more at the weekends when the others came to stay and he was complaining that the council wouldn't give him a big enough house. The council said they didn't have a big enough house. None of the adults in the house worked.

I still don't think it would be a good idea to say who should and shouldn't have kids though - that's a scary dark road to go down.

[Minty]

Bring in a parent licence then- like driving.

You have to have lessons and prove yourself to be worthy of it.

And make the lessons expensive enough that the scrotes cant afford it, but people that have a job can. Or have it so that having a job is a catgory in the test. Easy solutions :p

[SarkeBeeley]

Yep I agree with the license thing. I think it should be the same for having animals too.

In Minty world how would you stop people without one having kids? Forced contraception such as implant of injection? Forced sterilization? Forced vasectomy for men? Or just a huge rise in abortion?? All sounds pretty harsh to me!!

[Minty]

If you have a kid without a licence, you get sent to Cornwall. That should be enough of an incentive.

Plus fines, imprisenment, hangings and having the mother-in-law round would be enforced :p

[SarkeBeeley]

Whatever happened to free love man? Peace? Not in Minty's world eh?

[Minty]

Plenty of free love, just no kids involved :D

The best kinda love

[SarkeBeeley]

Plenty of free love, just no kids involved :D

The best kinda love

I couldn't agree more!

[invincible rob]

Plenty of free love, just no kids involved :D

The best kinda love
Couldn't agree more!

[oVo Pandora oVo]

Kids are great and is the best kind of love, it's the parents who are f*cked up and have kids when they aren't ready too and some just shouldn't be parents at all.

[Smokez]

Yeah right i think kids would be awesome. Having a little boy would be a blast.

[Sean2004]

Hmm. To some extent I kinda agree with the means test bit but to be honest few people can actually 'afford' to have them these days - it costs a fortune. It does annoy me when you see someone on shows like Jeremy Kyle (a poor-mans version of Jerry Springer for non-Brits) with four kids and neither parent even contemplates getting a job at any point. I remember a guy in the paper a while ago who had about eight kids and even more at the weekends when the others came to stay and he was complaining that the council wouldn't give him a big enough house. The council said they didn't have a big enough house. None of the adults in the house worked.

I still don't think it would be a good idea to say who should and shouldn't have kids though - that's a scary dark road to go down.

What you have to remember is that we live in a country with a government that will allow these people to belive that having a kid when they cant afford it doesnot matter because they will pick up the tab with child support and housing benifit etc etc. Then unfortunatly these poeple then fall into a pattern of free money from the government without having to do anything for it other than have a few kids and make a weekly trip to the post office.
There was a peice in the paper about a couple that earned over 30K in benifits and neither of them worked.

How can you try and change anyones perception when all they see is the pound signs a free house and not having to work all paid for by our great Labour government!!.