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PerpetualHeaven
10-08-2007, 04:21 PM
http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/doc/rnr/439179541.html

For the lazies here it is:

Reply to: pers-439179541@craigslist.org (pers-439179541@craigslist.org?subject=What%20am%20I%20d oing%20wrong%3f)
Date: 2007-10-03, 4:29PM EDT


Okay, I'm tired of beating around the bush. I'm a beautiful
(spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I'm articulate and classy.
I'm not from New York. I'm looking to get married to a guy who makes at
least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind
that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don't think
I'm overreaching at all.

Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could
you send me some tips? I dated a business man who makes average around
200 - 250. But that's where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000 won't get
me to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married
to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she's not as pretty as
I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I
get to her level?

Here are my questions specifically:

- Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics- bars,
restaurants, gyms

-What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won't hurt my
feelings

-Is there an age range I should be targeting (I'm 25)?

- Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper east
side so plain? I've seen really 'plain jane' boring types who have
nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I've seen drop dead
gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village. What's the story
there?

- Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows - lawyer, investment
banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they
hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?

- How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for
MARRIAGE ONLY

Please hold your insults - I'm putting myself out there in an honest
way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I'm being up front
about it. I wouldn't be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn't
able to match them - in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a
nice home and hearth.

* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with
services or
other commercial interests

PostingID: 432279810
THE ANSWER
Dear Pers-431649184:
I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully
about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament.
Firstly, I'm not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your
bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said here's how I
see it.

Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a
cr@ppy business deal. Here's why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you
suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring
my money. Fine, simple. But here's the rub, your looks will fade and my
money will likely continue into perpetuity...in fact, it is very likely
that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won't
be getting any more beautiful!

So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning
asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation
accelerates! Let me explain, you're 25 now and will likely stay pretty
hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in
earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you!

So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy
and hold...hence the rub...marriage. It doesn't make good business sense
to "buy you"
(which is what you're asking) so I'd rather lease. In case you think I'm
being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were to go away, so
would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It's as simple as
that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.

Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So,
I wonder why a girl as "articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful"
as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to
believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K
hasn't found you, if not only for a tryout.

By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then
we wouldn't need to have this difficult conversation.

With all that said, I must say you're going about it the right way.
Classic "pump and dump."
I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of
lease, let me know.


Ahhhh hahaha that's so funny

Shaaady Souljah
10-08-2007, 04:39 PM
that was amazing. :p

i love it. not sure if either of them are "real", or merely someone pretending, but funny nonetheless.

avengerRPM
10-08-2007, 04:40 PM
Wow, some of the stuff on craig's list is so akward and weird. I liked that though. Made my day better. Especially what the guy had to say in return.

Sanction
10-08-2007, 05:02 PM
Haha, that's awesome. And by taking economics this semester, I actually understand what he's saying, lol.

Bullet2theface
10-08-2007, 05:34 PM
funny ass shit, I love how the guy says:

In case you think I'm
being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were to go away, so
would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It's as simple as
that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.

That killed it.

fatces
10-08-2007, 05:41 PM
haha, very funny, good response of the guy :D

Turbo VDuB 44
10-08-2007, 05:42 PM
lol classic. I was reading it thinking to myself. Get a job you lazy slut...then he called her out on it. simply amusing

Exane22
10-08-2007, 05:58 PM
I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of
lease, let me know.

That is the greatest pickup line EVER, lawl :biglaugh

ZiM1021
10-08-2007, 06:25 PM
That was fantastic. I would love to see the look on this gold digger's face when she read that. :p

Most Frantic
10-09-2007, 01:22 AM
Hahaha I'm sending this to my girlfriend. She's always trying to get me to buy her presents.

DoM cAbAn
10-09-2007, 01:34 AM
Haha, I loved the response the guy gave.

razzleson
10-09-2007, 02:05 AM
Was that in the "best of" or just a random one you found? I really hope you're not surfing the CL classified section :p

And I don't mean to thread-steal, but this is one of my all time favorites. I laughed hysterically for minutes after reading. LINK (http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/chi/291079504.html)

Yes, I know what you’re saying, “dude, that blanket fort sucks.” That would not be the first time I’ve heard such short-sighted criticism. Its structural integrity is dubious at best and there isn’t a whole lot of headroom. But c’mon, it’s not like I’m a freakin’ architect or anything. Besides, this little baby is just a prototype. I have vast resources of cushions for anchoring and blankets in order to maximize square footage. My living room is just waiting to be turned into a totally sweet labyrinth of love.

I am very open to suggestions in respect to design and construction, as I’d like this fort to be a shared vision. Much like the Taj Mahal, its intended that this little beauty will be inspired by a very special lady. Once our shelter is erected, we can move in and work on some of our higher order needs. Or we could just order a pizza and tell ghost stories. Please email me with a picture if you want to be invited to this living room party. It will be sweet.

PS: I’m allowed to have sleepovers.

It's not nearly as good unless you see the picture. Click on "LINK" above the quote field.

Jdm7399
10-09-2007, 03:10 AM
Wow, is she serious?!:p

I wonder has anyone responded to her "ad". I would love to see what people are saying. People these days have way too much time on their hands. Take that time and find a job!;)

Cyrex
10-09-2007, 03:59 AM
some people just amaze me :confused:

JJ UK
10-09-2007, 09:22 PM
oh my, I havent laughed that hard in a long time, good stuff

I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of
lease, let me know.