Defying the laws of phys...err...noobism

[antilucid]

Just now, upon reading a post where yet another noob asked a question that could have easily been answered if they had spent 5 seconds looking at all of the stickies in the game forums, I had a brilliant idea.

Someone should design a computer virus that defies the laws of physics and everytime a noob asks a stupid question, an armed hand reaches out of the monitor and slaps some sense in to them. I would pay good money to see that happen.

[codedigital]

I'm not really a fan of this kind of attitude.

The "n00b" attitude turns people away. Instead of calling new people names...let's guide and nurture them so they become productive members of our site.

EDIT: And I believe what you are looking for is the old adage "Please someone grant me the power to bitch slap over standard TCP/IP."

[P1NSEEKER]

Indeed.

We were all "n00bs" once (except me, i was born l33t :p )

[Clipse 2]

I'm not really big on the idea however maybe a quick scan of key word sequences could result in a picture of Webb and Minty coming up with a voice box saying "Shouldn't you search first?". At least that would kind of be funny.

As for the "noob" thing, I hate it. Most of the time it makes me laugh because those who use it are younger than me and haven't been a gamer as long as I have. In fact I've been gamer longer than many have been a live (20 years). So when I'm called out as a noob because I got owned in a game, it makes me laugh because I think back... "Yeah, lets see you figure out those original Zelda puzzles, or obtain every single heath heart in Ocarina of Time without a guide. Then tell me whose the noob."

Just because those of you playing Gears of War day in and day out can kick my ass at the game doesn't make you better than me, it just means you need to move on and get better at some other game. Maybe its a confidence thing that some have to play and play and play the game over and over to get good enough to decimate others, but to me thats just retarded. Sorry for my rant.

[codedigital]

Indeed.

We were all "n00bs" once (except me, i was born l33t :p )

I highly doubt that. Sounds like you are trying to compensate for your total uber n00bism. :p

[Zef]

It would be much more effective if a shoe materialised out of a chair and gave them a swift kick in the love spuds.

The majority of the people who get told to read the FAQs are people who have appeared for the first time on these hallowed forums, so they don't always know they or there or they just don't have any common sense. No need to call them noobs as everyone except Pinseeker started in the same spot. Codedigital is an exception, call him a noob all you want since he doesn't know about Pinseeker (he was even born with sunglasses and a 10,000 gamerscore) =o

[codedigital]

Codedigital is an exception, call him a noob all you want since he doesn't know about Pinseeker (he was even born with sunglasses and a 10,000 gamerscore) =o

It was truly horn-rimmed glasses and a 10.00 gift card to Barnes and Noble.

[xJoex]

Indeed.

We were all "n00bs" once (except me, i was born l33t :p )

Yeah well I was born at 13:37pm! Now thats cool!

[antilucid]

This was more or less an attempt at humor. I am at least glad it did not become a flame war. I personally do not ever attack anyone directly because they are new.

[M7.Ninja]

Everybody was a noob once, even this awesome Ninja, believe it or not.

Don't look down on them. Remember who you were once.

[badgerodoom]

I would pay good money to see that happen.

Who wouldnt? I'm sure a lot of people would pay a lot of money to see that happen.
About being noobs at some time... yes we were all noobs, but a noob is someone who is new or sucks a bunch. That means that it is unavoidable, but you can be a smarter noob and actually pay attention to whats happening around you, or specifically whats on the computer screen right in front of your face.

[Mr Hey]

Stop trying to make jokes, lots of people post in the wrong section, I know its OMG freaking hilarious but keep it to yourself.

[Psycence]

Best quote version of your sentiment I ever saw, see below....




<Zybl0re> get up
<Zybl0re> get on up
<Zybl0re> get up
<Zybl0re> get on up
<phxl|paper> and DANCE
* nmp3bot dances :D-<
* nmp3bot dances :D|-<
* nmp3bot dances :D/-<
<[SA]HatfulOfHollow> i'm going to become rich and famous after i invent a device that allows you to stab people in the face over the internet


Ahhh the joys of Bash.org ;P

[HiddenPandas]

I believe people are making the mistake between "Newb" and "n00b"

By definition, "Newb" is just someone who is new, but is willing to learn the ways of the system. Anyone remember in the original sims how the tutorial family was under the name Newbie? Everyone starts off as a newb.

"n00b" on the other hand, is someone who persists in their newbish state, and proceeds to take it to extremes. They continue to embark in a quest of noobery defying all social laws of interaction with others. Example of a n00b would be.

n00b: GIMME FRI STUFFF MANNNNNNNZ
n00b #2: CAN YOU KEEL THIS MONSTA FOR ME!?!?!?11onoene

While this behavior is commonly found in mmorpg's, it is not exlusive to. Symptoms of Noobism include Love of the use of capital letters, horrible grammar and spelling, refusing to accept they are n00bs and seek help, laziness, and in general being a pain in the arse.

[codedigital]

I believe people are making the mistake between "Newb" and "n00b"

By definition, "Newb" is just someone who is new, but is willing to learn the ways of the system. Anyone remember in the original sims how the tutorial family was under the name Newbie? Everyone starts off as a newb.

"n00b" on the other hand, is someone who persists in their newbish state, and proceeds to take it to extremes. They continue to embark in a quest of noobery defying all social laws of interaction with others. Example of a n00b would be.

n00b: GIMME FRI STUFFF MANNNNNNNZ
n00b #2: CAN YOU KEEL THIS MONSTA FOR ME!?!?!?11onoene

While this behavior is commonly found in mmorpg's, it is not exlusive to. Symptoms of Noobism include Love of the use of capital letters, horrible grammar and spelling, refusing to accept they are n00bs and seek help, laziness, and in general being a pain in the arse.

What you just described as a n00b is called an annoying bitch where I come from. n00b = newb. Derogatory and overused terms that I wish would go away because I'm sick hearing people say them.

[Autoflow]

As for the "noob" thing, I hate it. Most of the time it makes me laugh because those who use it are younger than me and haven't been a gamer as long as I have. In fact I've been gamer longer than many have been a live (20 years). So when I'm called out as a noob because I got owned in a game, it makes me laugh because I think back... "Yeah, lets see you figure out those original Zelda puzzles, or obtain every single heath heart in Ocarina of Time without a guide. Then tell me whose the noob."


I could not agree with you more. I would love to see these kids that scream into their mics over xbox live try to beat a game with no save feature.

[Marx0r]

I would dedicate my entire life to creating such a product. As far as "we were all a noob once", I'm gonna have to disagree slightly.

There are a few types of noobs...

A newb is someone who is otherwise intelligent, but simply does not have experience. This is the person who will create a thread telling people, in clear, concise, English, about an easier way to get an achievement or to set up a boosting match. He simply doesn't know about the Stickied threads. In a word: Inexperienced.

A noob will, still in plain English or maybe a slightly devolved version, create a post to ask a question without bothering to search, and then probably get pissed when no one answers him within 15 minutes. They might also ask to join a Shadowrun boosting match despite the organizer clearly saying that all interested in joining must message him on XBL. (gah) This can also be used an experienced gamer that commits a brain fart or act of isolated stupidity.
In a word: Lazy/Stupid.. whatever.. this one's hard to describe.

A n00b will create useless and stupid threads (usually not normal posts) that are generally illegible. Example: "Poll: Do u think te shootty in GoW is liek the Pimpz cane in SiantsRow or th3h shottty in SHad0wrunZ?" This thread will also be in the Shrek forum. When a mod moves it, he'll get pissed. When everyone says it's stupid, he'll curse everyone out and get swiftly banned. This person can also be found in the forums of games he doesn't have, telling people that the thread he's posting in doesn't apply to him.

Recaps:
Newb is a state, there is nothing wrong with being one.

Noob is the equivalent of calling someone an idiot, it can be done towards friends jokingly or to strangers offensively.

n00b isn't an insult so much more as it is a consensus. If you're a n00b, everyone but you will be immediately able to recognize you as one.

Newbs do not deserve to be reprimanded, but rather to be helped politely by those with experience. Noobs should be slapped in the face just enough for it to hurt. N00bs should be repeatedly stabbed in the face.

[HiddenPandas]

Recaps:
Newb is a state, there is nothing wrong with being one.

Noob is the equivalent of calling someone an idiot, it can be done towards friends jokingly or to strangers offensively.

n00b isn't an insult so much more as it is a consensus. If you're a n00b, everyone but you will be immediately able to recognize you as one.

Newbs do not deserve to be reprimanded, but rather to be helped politely by those with experience. Noobs should be slapped in the face just enough for it to hurt. N00bs should be repeatedly stabbed in the face.

QFT, my sentiments exactly,except better expressed :P

[nullnvoid]

I sure hope I come under the newb category then and not the other one. This is one of the reasons it took me a long time to register since discovering this awesome sight....I was afraid of getting told off :eek: (that and I can usually find the answers without having to post)

Laura...the newb x