Peter Molyneux v.s. Cliff Bleszinski v.s. A Minotaur

[PenderPowguin]

So Peter, Cliff, and a Minotaur walk into a bar. Post how you think these 3 would engage one another resulting in one being the victor. It doesn't have to be an all out brawl, nor does it have to end in violence.
If you need pictures I've posted attachments.

My scenerio:

Peter and the Minotaur are having a philisophical debate on the meaning of life when enters Cliff...

Peter: No no no good chum, you've it all wrong! The meaning of life is simply to live!!!

Minotaur: *growls*

-DOOR SLAMS OPEN!-

Cliff: Sup bitches! Who wants to play some beer pong!

-Minotaur & Peter facepalm-

Making his way to the bar, Cliff obtrusively sits inbetween the Minotaur and Peter. Slamming peanuts into his already filled jaws, Cliff proceeds to make a mistake...

Cliff: Yo Peter, you wanna know the meanin' of life? It's right here baby!
-Unzips fly and pulls something rather distasteful out, a replica lancer-

Cliff: Yeah, you fuckin' love it huh?

Minotaur: *growls*

Peter: Just let it go Frank (Minotaurs name)

Cliff: What's the matter Frank 'N Beans? Your wife wasn't complaining when I showed her the meaning of life last night!

Minotaur RAGE! Cliff clearly wasn't prepared for what would be his last glass of ale in the form of a shattered mug being shoved down into his esophagus in a most grotesque manner.

Peter: Frank? Why did you do that? You're not even married...

Frank: Indeed Peter I am not, but I now hold the meaning of life!
-raises replica chainsaw high and proud-

Later that evening Peter and Frank continued on in their debates of philosophy and living well, then Peter spontaneously combusted.

-Fin-

[THE130173]

Just a little random?

[PenderPowguin]

Just a little random?

Yeah, why not?

There are other this v.s. that, with mine I wish that you include how the scenerio would play out. All in good fun!

[Terriah]

http://www.lolsauce.com/RandomBS/AwesomeThread.jpg

I will post something more constructive later on, however right now I'm just getting over how awesome this topic is.

[jamie1000013]

God this made me laugh quite a bit. The title set me off before I even opened up the thread :-P. It seems in this day and age nothing can live together without having an all out battle royale. I'm quite surprised I haven't seen a dog verses baby thread yet and people debating which would win.

[Unterofficer]

Little too stupid story for it to be truly funny. Well like I can do any better ->

Mölyneux and Cliffy B are sitting on a bar discussing what is important for a game. Mölyneux says that hype is important, as you can build peoples expectations up, and then they don't see the bad points in games, until they have bought them. Cliffy B says that as long as you make the game look macho and hardcore people don't even see the bad points while playing. The heated discussion continues as minotaur steps to the bar.

Now the minotaur is a hardcore gamer with tendencies for coregaming, so naturally he gets angry to see the two (Especially as they are wearing red.), and promply beats them up. He sits down and asks for a beer. On the sidelines folks from Treychard and Infinity Ward drink their drinks in a hurry and make a rush for the door, until the minotaur might see them.

[Opiate42]

HAHA!! Okay I have to go Minotaur. Peter and Cliff are both bright guys but Franky Minotaur has been around for a millennia or three so probably has heard a few better jokes in his day and has probably eaten wiser philosophers then they.

Minotaur: "what is consciousness?"
Peter: "I think therefore I am"
Cliff : "sup bitch wanna to play beer pong?"
Peter: " I think not" * and promptly vanishes in a puff of logic. *

http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:I3AzvZQJi3IOtM:http://www.myspacefx.net/import/graphics/Funny_Graphics_and_Pics/lol-cats_i-love-this-thread-so-much.jpg&t=1

[Venomized]

So Peter, Cliff, and a Minotaur walk into a bar. Post how you think these 3 would engage one another resulting in one being the victor. It doesn't have to be an all out brawl, nor does it have to end in violence.
If you need pictures I've posted attachments.

My scenerio:

Peter and the Minotaur are having a philisophical debate on the meaning of life when enters Cliff...

Peter: No no no good chum, you've it all wrong! The meaning of life is simply to live!!!

Minotaur: *growls*

-DOOR SLAMS OPEN!-

Cliff: Sup bitches! Who wants to play some beer pong!

-Minotaur & Peter facepalm-

Making his way to the bar, Cliff obtrusively sits inbetween the Minotaur and Peter. Slamming peanuts into his already filled jaws, Cliff proceeds to make a mistake...

Cliff: Yo Peter, you wanna know the meanin' of life? It's right here baby!
-Unzips fly and pulls something rather distasteful out, a replica lancer-

Cliff: Yeah, you fuckin' love it huh?

Minotaur: *growls*

Peter: Just let it go Frank (Minotaurs name)

Cliff: What's the matter Frank 'N Beans? Your wife wasn't complaining when I showed her the meaning of life last night!

Minotaur RAGE! Cliff clearly wasn't prepared for what would be his last glass of ale in the form of a shattered mug being shoved down into his esophagus in a most grotesque manner.

Peter: Frank? Why did you do that? You're not even married...

Frank: Indeed Peter I am not, but I now hold the meaning of life!
-raises replica chainsaw high and proud-

Later that evening Peter and Frank continued on in their debates of philosophy and living well, then Peter spontaneously combusted.

-Fin-

Uhmm yeah. You must be bored.

Btw, I just had to say it is "vs." or "vs". Never saw someone write "v.s.". Versus is one word so there is no reason to put a dot between the V and S.

Edit: Just read your story and it was quite intriguing and funny =p. Did not expect that.

[Joker0fLife]

*The three sitting in the worlds best gaming bar*

Peter: *Obviously smashed* "Have you seen my Kinect son Milo recently? He's my newest cash cow!"

Cliff: "No, Have you seen my GoW 3 footage yet?"

Peter: "No! I played GoW 2 and that game was SHIT! I was expecting it to NOT be exactly like you said, I was totally expecting stuff that I thought would be great to put into the game to be in there, but it wasn't because you stayed true to your word!!!"

Cliff: "Well that's what lead designers do Pete...we make games and we don't bullshit the fans..."

Minotaur: "Kinda like all those shitty updates you did with GoW2?"

Cliff: "WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?" *Peter too busy in thinking up more lies and fibbs watches the tv*

Minotaur: "I'm a hellspawn minion of John Romero, the man who made one of the best games ever called DOOM. What's it to you?!"

*Peter goes to the bathroom in a drunken stupor*

Cliff: "Nothing, just thought a monster with graphics as bad as yours wouldn't be in a bar like this...You need more dark colors to give everything a very simple, yet monotone look..."

Minotaur: *Eats Cliff* "How do my pixels look now you hipster POS?!"

*Peter stumbles back to the bar knocking over a stool in the process.* Peter: "Wonder where Cliff went..."

Minotaur: "Ha, that dude who doesn't act his age with the edgy hair? He left because he couldn't stand your already receding hairline and horrible European accent." *Lawlz*

Peter: "Who in the bloody hell are you?!"

Minotaur: "You know what? Fuck this." *Eats Peter* "You deserved that in every way imaginable!"

*Kirby stares at Minotaur* Minotaur: "What?"

Kirby: "You're making me look bad." *Swallows Minotaur*

The End!

[PenderPowguin]

Uhmm yeah. You must be bored.

Btw, I just had to say it is "vs." or "vs". Never saw someone write "v.s.". Versus is one word so there is no reason to put a dot between the V and S.

Edit: Just read your story and it was quite intriguing and funny =p. Did not expect that.

Bored? Me? NEVER!

Oh thank you for correcting my abbreviations, that's a wonderful contribution to the thread ;)

Maybe one day Peter Molyneux will actually spontaneously combust? Who knows?

[PenderPowguin]

*The three sitting in the worlds best gaming bar*

Peter: *Obviously smashed* "Have you seen my Kinect son Milo recently? He's my newest cash cow!"

Cliff: "No, Have you seen my GoW 3 footage yet?"

Peter: "No! I played GoW 2 and that game was SHIT! I was expecting it to NOT be exactly like you said, I was totally expecting stuff that I thought would be great to put into the game to be in there, but it wasn't because you stayed true to your word!!!"

Cliff: "Well that's what lead designers do Pete...we make games and we don't bullshit the fans..."

Minotaur: "Kinda like all those shitty updates you did with GoW2?"

Cliff: "WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?" *Peter too busy in thinking up more lies and fibbs watches the tv*

Minotaur: "I'm a hellspawn minion of John Romero, the man who made one of the best games ever called DOOM. What's it to you?!"

*Peter goes to the bathroom in a drunken stupor*

Cliff: "Nothing, just thought a monster with graphics as bad as yours wouldn't be in a bar like this...You need more dark colors to give everything a very simple, yet monotone look..."

Minotaur: *Eats Cliff* "How do my pixels look now you hipster POS?!"

*Peter stumbles back to the bar knocking over a stool in the process.* Peter: "Wonder where Cliff went..."

Minotaur: "Ha, that dude who doesn't act his age with the edgy hair? He left because he couldn't stand your already receding hairline and horrible European accent." *Lawlz*

Peter: "Who in the bloody hell are you?!"

Minotaur: "You know what? Fuck this." *Eats Peter* "You deserved that in every way imaginable!"

*Kirby stares at Minotaur* Minotaur: "What?"

Kirby: "You're making me look bad." *Swallows Minotaur*

The End!

Nicely done!

Edit:Sorry for the double post!

[jtr1gg3r]

Peter: I think Fable is better than gears.

Cliff: Bullshit!

Minotaur: What you sayin?!?!?! *headbutt*

Peter: OMFG!

Minotaur: You want some old man?!

Peter: Id much prefer some cheese.

Minotaur: WHAT??!?!?!?! *eye gouge*

The End.





.................. yeaaaaaaahhhh :p

[KirbyTheAlmighty]

*The three sitting in the worlds best gaming bar*

Peter: *Obviously smashed* "Have you seen my Kinect son Milo recently? He's my newest cash cow!"

Cliff: "No, Have you seen my GoW 3 footage yet?"

Peter: "No! I played GoW 2 and that game was SHIT! I was expecting it to NOT be exactly like you said, I was totally expecting stuff that I thought would be great to put into the game to be in there, but it wasn't because you stayed true to your word!!!"

Cliff: "Well that's what lead designers do Pete...we make games and we don't bullshit the fans..."

Minotaur: "Kinda like all those shitty updates you did with GoW2?"

Cliff: "WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?" *Peter too busy in thinking up more lies and fibbs watches the tv*

Minotaur: "I'm a hellspawn minion of John Romero, the man who made one of the best games ever called DOOM. What's it to you?!"

*Peter goes to the bathroom in a drunken stupor*

Cliff: "Nothing, just thought a monster with graphics as bad as yours wouldn't be in a bar like this...You need more dark colors to give everything a very simple, yet monotone look..."

Minotaur: *Eats Cliff* "How do my pixels look now you hipster POS?!"

*Peter stumbles back to the bar knocking over a stool in the process.* Peter: "Wonder where Cliff went..."

Minotaur: "Ha, that dude who doesn't act his age with the edgy hair? He left because he couldn't stand your already receding hairline and horrible European accent." *Lawlz*

Peter: "Who in the bloody hell are you?!"

Minotaur: "You know what? Fuck this." *Eats Peter* "You deserved that in every way imaginable!"

*Kirby stares at Minotaur* Minotaur: "What?"

Kirby: "You're making me look bad." *Swallows Minotaur*

The End!
I pwn'd the minotaur.

[Schism]

you just....blew my fucking mind...


and WHERE THE FIGGITY FACK...was the koolaid man?? surely he could have fit in this in some mysterious way.

[PenderPowguin]

you just....blew my fucking mind...


and WHERE THE FIGGITY FACK...was the koolaid man?? surely he could have fit in this in some mysterious way.

It's up to you! to incorperate the Koolaid man into your personal story.

[Hero Of Acre]

*The three sitting in the worlds best gaming bar*

Peter: *Obviously smashed* "Have you seen my Kinect son Milo recently? He's my newest cash cow!"

Cliff: "No, Have you seen my GoW 3 footage yet?"

Peter: "No! I played GoW 2 and that game was SHIT! I was expecting it to NOT be exactly like you said, I was totally expecting stuff that I thought would be great to put into the game to be in there, but it wasn't because you stayed true to your word!!!"

Cliff: "Well that's what lead designers do Pete...we make games and we don't bullshit the fans..."

Minotaur: "Kinda like all those shitty updates you did with GoW2?"

Cliff: "WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?" *Peter too busy in thinking up more lies and fibbs watches the tv*

Minotaur: "I'm a hellspawn minion of John Romero, the man who made one of the best games ever called DOOM. What's it to you?!"


It was going good until here, yes John Romero had a part in DOOM, but he was one of the level designers. In my opinion DOOM is John Carmack's baby.

That and I'm still waiting for John Romero to make me his bitch...(If anyone gets that, wow...major kudos).

[sb528]

"A young mother-to-be asked me if I would let my son play Bulletstorm........


Man, that's just a bad way to find out your girlfriend's pregnant."-Cliffy B

[PenderPowguin]

"A young mother-to-be asked me if I would let my son play Bulletstorm........


Man, that's just a bad way to find out your girlfriend's pregnant."-Cliffy B

Oh no don't worry about it, the thread isn't random enough. Add in a quote from Cliff Bleszinski that has nothing to do with the thread.

You story was creative and well written. It made me laugh, it made me cry. I was so emotionally absorbed by your ability to write how the minotaur felt oppressed, not being able to live up to his fathers standards and all...well done sb528, you've earned it.

[IncensedCape]

Cliffy B wouldn't even be able to get into the bar due to his monstrously oversized head.

[Joker0fLife]

I pwn'd the minotaur.
Indeed you did! You made for a great ending twist lol

It was going good until here, yes John Romero had a part in DOOM, but he was one of the level designers. In my opinion DOOM is John Carmack's baby.

That and I'm still waiting for John Romero to make me his bitch...(If anyone gets that, wow...major kudos).

I meant to say Carmack >_< I normally get the 2 mixed up, and I was kinda going off the top of my head with the story lol, my bad. Also, I've heard that saying (I think on a Minecraft walkthrough by Seananners) before but I don't know the meaning behind it.

[Hero Of Acre]

Indeed you did! You made for a great ending twist lol



I meant to say Carmack >_< I normally get the 2 mixed up, and I was kinda going off the top of my head with the story lol, my bad. Also, I've heard that saying (I think on a Minecraft walkthrough by Seananners) before but I don't know the meaning behind it.

Sweet! An opportunity to flaunt my knowledge of video game history!

After John Romero left (was fired [I choose to believe American McGee's version of events]) from Id he started Ion Storm and began work on a game called Daikatana which suffered from somesdelays and quite a bit of hype (overhype) and one of the ads for Daikatana was "John Romero's About to Make You His Bitch". So when Daikatana came out two years later it failed to make anyone his bitch. It's a classic example of how hype can be a bad thing.

Although he did date Stevie 'Killcreek' Case...

P.S. John Carmack is a genius. - Link (http://www.armadilloaerospace.com/n.x/Armadillo/Home/FAQ#John)

[SpiritReacher]

Minotaurs don't exist.
I don't know Cliff.
Ergo, Peter wins.

[oRedBull]

WHERE THE FIGGITY FACK...was the koolaid man?? surely he could have fit in this in some mysterious way.
Peter: I'm really excited for Gears of War 3, I think that it's a wonderful art form and you're truly an inspiration.
Cliff: Are you coming on to me?
Peter: What?! No, I was just saying how much I admire your work.
Cliff: Not you! Look Frank, I just don't see this happenning?
Frank: *Grunts and points to bedroom*
Cliff: I'm not interested, sorry.
Frank: *Tears Cliff's head off*
Peter: Bluddy 'ell
Frank: *Grunts and points to bedroom*
Peter: [Reluctantly] Fine...?
*Loud crashes outside*
*Wall gets broken down*
*Tim Schafer emerges*
Peter: Save meeeeeeee!
Frank: *Breaks Peter's neck*
Tim: What the f***?
Frank: *Drags Tim off to bedroom... Slams door*
*Door opens... Kool-Aid guy walks in*
Kool-Aid: Can I have a beer?

The End